Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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