"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I just found puke in my bra..
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
