remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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