): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
