Come see our sink grown plant.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
