I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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