Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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