nut hugger
Farmville is her only friend.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
