im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
this beer tastes like vomit already
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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