She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
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