the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
