dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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