Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
