I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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