it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
