Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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