Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
My liver just had a heart attack.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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