I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
