genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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