I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
