why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
