atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
