everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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