Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I've blown a few things in my day
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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