Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
