They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I have feelings that need drinking.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
