Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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