Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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