You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
