Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
