this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
are you so shy because you have an std?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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