I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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