I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
