Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I am available for nakedness
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
