I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
