You smell like stripper and shame
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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