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• (763): View more from Minnesota

  So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time

  (1-763): View more from Minnesota

  Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.

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• (909): View more from California

  I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.

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• (310): View more from California

  I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you

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• (251): View more from Alabama

  So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.

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• (716): View more from New York

  It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.

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• (917): View more from New York City

  My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.

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• (305): View more from Florida

  It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma

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• (623): View more from Arizona

  It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.

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• (905): View more from Ontario

  How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?

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