He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
i came on her dog
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
