I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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