If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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