I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
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