i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
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your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize