home. puking in laundry basket.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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