There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
