dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
operation have a gay friend backfired
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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