The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
They have beer where we have blood.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
You were trust falling into bushes
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
