i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
