going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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