I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
fuck your aforementioned shoe
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
