i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
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