I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize