why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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