im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
