i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize