I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
