he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
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i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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