So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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