Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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