i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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