come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.