she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.