you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me