dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.