We're facebook friends in real life
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.