I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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