There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
