Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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