great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
