i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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